It’s just the way it turned out. (5)

“Huok! Huok! Huok! Huok!”

Sweat poured down like rain. His clothes were drenched as if caught in a downpour, and with every step on the ground, sweat dripped from his hair like raindrops.

It felt like his lungs were about to burst from his chest.

‘How much farther do we have to go?’

The path ahead seemed endless and dark, but he couldn’t afford to stop. If he failed to do his part, it wouldn’t just be him who suffered the consequences.

Ho Gamyeong had never issued a direct threat.

He hadn’t shoved a blade at him like the usual thugs or growled menacingly, threatening to flay him alive.

But that’s what made it even scarier.

Because to him, wiping out an ordinary village where people live is no different from stepping on ants beneath his feet.

Strength alone wasn’t the important factor. What was terrifying was someone who could commit such acts without feeling an ounce of guilt.

That’s why he had to keep running. The lives of those left behind in Hainan depended entirely on Ho Gamyeong.

“Huok! Huok! Huok!”

Thud!

Yu Gong, running with all his might, stumbled forward suddenly, tumbling as if thrown forward. He had missed a protruding rock on the ground while searching for the symbol above.

It was such a ridiculous mistake that it would elicit laughter if attributed to someone else, but Yu Gong, at this moment, was equally exhausted.

“Cough.”

Even the sound of coughing lacked strength. His limbs had long lost their vigor. But somehow, he managed to force himself to touch the ground. There was no way they would consider his circumstances.

“Ugh…”

Yu Gong trembled as he struggled to get up, but all he could see were random weeds sprouting from the ground, and his gaze couldn’t seem to lift upward.

And then, in that moment…

Thud.

A foot appeared before him. Startled, he raised his head to see Ho Gamyeong looking down at him indifferently.

Even his rough breathing halted momentarily in the cold gaze devoid of any warmth. After a moment, Ho Gamyeong spoke.

“We are taking a break.”

“Yes!”

His subordinates swiftly began to move at his command.

Thud. Thud.

With that command, Ho Gamyeong distanced himself from Yu Gong without saying another word. Yu Gong, still staring at his retreating figure as if entranced, clenched his fist tightly.

“Here.”

Yu Gong turned his head in a daze at the sudden voice. A flask of water covered in droplets was being pushed towards him and placed next to him as he leaned against the tree trunk as if he was about to die.

“Drink.”

Yu Gong silently stared at the flask for a moment before shifting his gaze slightly upward. It was Go Hong. His expression seemed somewhat peculiar.

“What are you doing? Take it.”

Without a word, Yu Gong reached out and took the water.

It was cold. It seemed to have been fetched from a nearby water source. It wasn’t necessarily meant just for him.

With a puzzled gaze, Yu Gong eventually drank the water slowly. Go Hong, who had been watching him intently, sat down a little farther away.

Silence hung between them for a while, as if the distance between them mirrored the distance in their hearts.

“How much farther do you think we need to go?”

Yu Gong removed the flask from his lips and wiped his mouth with a sleeve.

The night sky, adorned with stars like jewels, stretched above them. Somehow, it felt like laughter was about to escape his lips.

The night sky, often seen in Hainan, was probably much more beautiful than this. But back then, he couldn’t feel any particular awe while looking at the night sky.

It was only after the situation unfolded like this that he realized how splendid the night sky was.

“I’m not sure.”

Yu Gong responded belatedly.

Go Hong sighed softly at his delayed answer.

“Either way, we’ll likely move farther apart as we rest.”

“Probably.”

In truth, it was uncertain. They couldn’t keep running indefinitely. Like anyone else, they would also need to rest at some point.

In the end, it all came down to who covered more distance in the same amount of time. That was the nature of pursuit.

Yet, Yu Gong didn’t feel the need to voice those thoughts aloud.

Go Hong probably already knows, even though he might be ignoring it.

“Saheyong.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Go Hong chuckled.

“Why? Do you feel guilty?”

“It’s not about guilt. We’re not Sahyeongs anymore.”

“That’s true… We’re neither Sahyeongs nor disciples of Haenam.”

Yu Gong leaned his head against the tree trunk and closed his eyes weakly.

In truth, he didn’t want to close his eyes, he wanted to block his ears. But he didn’t have the strength to lift his hands, so closing his eyes was the best he could do.

“But, Sahyeong… It seems like it’s not going to end so easily.”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you see that? In the gorge.”

Yu Gong closed his eyes a little tighter.. That’s why he wanted to block his ears – because he knew what Go Hong was going to talk about. He didn’t want to hear that story.

“There were Myeong Ho Sahyeong, and Jaun Saje. Even Elder Kang Myeong…”

“…”

And why wouldn’t he see it?

He saw it with his own eyes. The sight of people who had been together with him for decades lying tragically dead, scattered about.

But he couldn’t do anything. He just desperately chased after them, jumping over their decaying bodies.

Because he had to live. He had to survive.

“Dead men are just dead men.”

“That’s right… But… He was alive.”

“What?”

Go Hong’s eyes stared blankly into the void. “When I passed through there… at least Jaun Saje was alive. Even amidst all that, he seemed to recognize us. Even as he was cut and dying…”

Yu Gong’s shoulders trembled. Jaun was a Saje Go Hong was particularly fond of. Just as Go Hong followed Yu Gong around, Jaun also had a special attachment to Go Hong.

“It seemed like he wanted to say something. I couldn’t hear it, couldn’t recognize it, but… he definitely wanted to convey something.”

“…”

“Sahyeong. What did Jaun want to say…”

“If you’re going to talk nonsense, then get lost. I want to rest.”

Yu Gong’s harsh voice cut through Go Hong’s words. But instead of flinching, Go Hong let out a laugh.

“Can you rest if I step aside?”

Yu Gong glared fiercely at Go Hong for a moment.

“Is it because we are his Sahyeongs that we can’t rest?”

Go Hong faltered.

Yu Gong’s eyes twisted like a demon’s.

“So what?”

His voice was harsh as he gritted his teeth.

“Are you saying I should have been there too, lying dead with them? Should I have been torn apart and left to rot to have a proper death? Should I have become a corpse in that godforsaken gorge, swarmed by maggots and flies to have a righteous end?”

“Sahyeong!”

“Stop talking nonsense! Haven’t you seen it? Those who marched forth with all their noble justifications, what did they protect? What did they achieve while suffering such a miserable death? What did they protect?”

The voice grew more and more enraged.

“What was he trying to say? What meaning does it have there? All I know is one thing. The dead don’t speak, they don’t hear, they don’t understand! He’s dead, and we’re alive!”

“…”

“Guilt? Nonsense! I will survive. I will never suffer such a miserable death. I will survive no matter what, I will! And then I will return to my hometown with my body intact!”

Venom flashed in Yu Gong’s eyes. He seemed ready to tear Go Hong apart at any moment.

“What… What’s so wrong with that? Is it such a big mistake? Is it?”

Go Hong couldn’t say anything. He just lowered his head deeply and trembled slightly.

Yu Gong swallowed the water nervously. It was nothing more than plain water, but it felt like it was burning his insides.

In truth, he knew it too. Everything went wrong. He was wrong, and they were right. Following what he had learned, what he knew, should have been correct.

But what was the result?

Those who pursued righteousness became food for beasts over there. And he, who chose the wrong path, still preserved his life.

If Haenam fails to escape Gangnam and ultimately perishes, the most despicable Yu Gong will be the only one left alive to return to his hometown.

‘Pursue the right path?’

He chuckled bitterly.

For what? What exactly should one endure hardship for? What exactly? To satisfy that paltry conscience and self-satisfaction?

It’s all futile, just meaningless crap.

“Don’t waste your thoughts, just rest.”

In the end, Go Hong rose from his seat, whether out of consideration for Yu Gong’s words or simply because he no longer wished to stay by his side, it was unclear.

But where could he possibly go?

There was no place for them to rest comfortably here. From the moment they left Hainan, they had become people who couldn’t rest their backs on the ground.

Go Hong looked down at Yu Gong with unfocused eyes.

It’s so easy to resent. Blaming Yu Gong for all of this isn’t difficult at all. If he could just channel his own sense of responsibility and drown in the suffocating guilt, it would be so much easier than facing the truth.

But Go Hong couldn’t do that.

Perhaps because his conscience still lingered?

No, it wasn’t because projecting his resentment on Yu Gong would not ease his heart. He was simply curious now.

“What was different?”

Go Hong asked, his voice small.

At the sound of that simple question, Yu Gong lifted his head.

“We set out from the same place, learned the same things, lived the same life. So why are we here, and they’re there? What’s the difference between them and us?”

Yu Gong’s lips twitched.

It was an obvious but profoundly difficult question to answer. Numerous responses surfaced in his mind only to sink back down again. None of them could be considered a complete answer.

In the end, Yu Gong offered a response that was almost as bewildering to himself. A self-deprecating laugh played faintly on his lips.

“It’s just… It’s just the way it turned out.”

“That’s it.”

He added with a shrug.

Go Hong silently looked at Yu Gong, who found it oddly difficult to meet his eyes. He couldn’t withstand that gaze, devoid of hostility but nevertheless unbearable, unlike the venomous stare from before.

It wasn’t an accusation, and certainly not blame, but rather the indifferent gaze that was agonizing to endure.

So, Yu Gong eventually averted his gaze. Yet, even in doing so, he knew there was nowhere to escape.

Step by step, they continued on.

Even as he heard the fading sound of Go Hong’s footsteps, Yu Gong couldn’t bring himself to turn his head for a while. That gaze seemed to linger in its place somehow.

It was only after a long while that Yu Gong weakly looked up. There were so many stars in the sky, as if pouring down. The sky, just gazing down at the hellish world below, seemed cruel.

‘What’s different?’

A bitter laugh escaped him.

“How would I even know…”

He covered his eyes with both hands.

The sky just looked on, unyielding. It’s not the sky that trembled, it’s the one gazing upon it.

“How… would I…”

His voice, filled with self-reproach, barely escaped his lips, dissipating into the air.